So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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