He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
