margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
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