i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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