I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
