As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
