I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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