dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
