When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I could fuck to npr.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
