just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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