It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
