Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
