Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
