I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so let's talk penis.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
