Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
