Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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