Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
