Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
