he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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