Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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