So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my vagina is haunted
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
