LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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