Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
