I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Randomize
