it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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