Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
