Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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