saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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