I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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