FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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