Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
