You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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