I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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