So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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