u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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