You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
