I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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