Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
