meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
