i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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