She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
