He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
