Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize