Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
