Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
