I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
