Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my being single is dangerous.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
