Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
