Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
