a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
