I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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