Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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