i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
