I hope mine doesn't look like that
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
