The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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