i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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