I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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