i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
