I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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