After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
two words: eviction party
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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