It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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