DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
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She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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