this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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