he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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