I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize