My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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