I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He has the fingertips of a God
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