Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
