one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize