I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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