he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
