so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
