RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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