omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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